The Lyrics

I found myself sitting on the hospital lawn, immersed in Phoebe Bridgers' song 'funeral.' The lyrics, "I am singing at a funeral tomorrow, for a kid a year older than me," struck a chord deep within me, making me contemplate how life would be without her... my mother. The past few years haven't been easy; her illness progressed through stages. First, she couldn't recognize me, confusing me for my late father whom she affectionately called Lincoln. "You look more handsome today," she would say, and I couldn't help but smile, knowing that even in her confusion, she still saw my father in my eyes. Eventually, she ceased recognizing my father as well. It felt like watching someone you love slowly forget you.

The woman who had watched over me from infancy to adulthood now regressed to an infantile state, and I became the caregiver. Lost in my thoughts, I was abruptly brought back to reality by the sound of approaching footsteps. I turned to see her doctors hastily making their way to the operating room to attend to her.

Despite not being a year older than my mom, the song's message resonated deeply with me. Tomorrow, I would find myself singing at a funeral.